1) I'm Movin On by Rascal Flatts
2) "I'm movin on. At last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me. And I know there's no guarantees but I'm not alone."
3) I'm grateful for change
It's funny...you think of something happening that could potentially tear your world apart, but if it really did happen, how would you REALLY feel? For example, I remember when I was in middle school and the small group of friends I had grown close to started falling to pieces around me. I can actually recall thinking that the moment when I was standing amidst the rubble of what used to be a clan of unbreakable bonds, was the worst moment of my life. If I could, I would go back in time, put my arm around that scared and maybe slightly over-dramatic little girl and tell her that she is a hell of a lot stronger than she gives herself credit for.
Things have happened recently that made me kinda turn around and look at the past few years with a different set of eyes. I wasn't sure I would make it through these last few weeks. And I know at least one person who thought that I would be demolished and never be able to get out of bed again. And I won't lie, there were tough times, but overall I have learned 2 basic lessons about myself and about life.
1) Time never stops. It will always move on and that, believe it or not, is a true blessing. After everyday we get the opportunity to try again. There is always tomorrow. And it doesnt matter if you are going through hell, gradually, things WILL get better. And one day you will wake up and realize that you are FINE. All of the heartbreak lasted maybe a couple days and now it's time to kick ass and move on with your life. Not ignoring or forgetting the past but more like using it as the mortar between the bricks on your path of life (deep...i know...). Experiences, both good and bad, are educational and can always be of benefit. But never let the bad ones rob you of too much time.
2) It is not selfish to take care of yourself. I honestly feel like sometimes I spend most of my time making sure others are happy. Rarely do I actually put myself first. I am so focused on being the reliable one, or the sounding board or pretty much anything I am needed to be that I find myself exhausted, confused and unhappy. I wish I had a dime for every time I put aside sleep, activities and things that I enjoy to help someone sort out a personal crisis, prepare for a big event or just figure out the next step in life. And it's not like I don't want to be there for people. I don't mind being there for my true friends. But bending over backwards for those who do nothing but ask you to bend further is not healthy. I don't deserve that. So I have decided that I am going to start doing things that make ME happy and help further MY goals and wants. I truly hope no one gets offended by this but if you do, then you are obviously not one of those special people in my life.
What it basically comes down to is that I have been surprised by how much I have changed since I was that little girl. No, it wasn't painless or easy, but I am truly grateful for every person and every influence I have had that has made me the strong individual I am. And I can genuinely say that I am excited for the future and everything it brings.
