1) Absolutely Zero by Jason Mraz
2) I'm grateful for the human mind's desire to question. It is such a shame when people throw it away
3) A person's a person. No matter how small.
I feel like I should kind of give a warning or a heads up to friends or family who might be reading this (because I actually told people about this one lol)...my biggest concern is causing issues because of honest things I may discuss about certain people. It's not like I will be bad mouthing anyone but I know that I know some very strong-minded people who only have the best of intentions. Anything that goes up here is what is actually going on in my head and I hope you will be able to be open-minded. If there are questions or concerns I would really like you to call or message me(preferably call) so I can clear up any misconceptions. I love you guys and hope you understand.
So here I am talking about this huge life change I am trying but I realized that I left alot out of the last post. The biggest driving force behind this was actually a coworker of mine who I was talking to. She told me that she just didn't care what people said or thought of her! I was shocked! How could you not care?? It took up the majority of my thoughts for the rest of the day and I realized that I had become a slave to making others happy and rarely did anything simply because I wanted to and for no other reason. Time for a change. In march I am planning a big move. I am moving to place that I have never lived and where the only ones who know me are my own family. It reminds me of when I went out to school for my first semester. I got an opportunity to recreate myself into whomever I wanted. And why am I moving? It's funny because I have told people I am moving for family or education but the real reason is because I WANT TO!! Oh man that felt good!
I am very much looking forward to that opportunity. Mostly because things here have seemed to hit a brick wall...everything except for one. There is still one thing out here worth chasing if asked but I have been assured that the question would never come up. Simply because they know me moving is a good opportunity and would never stand in the way of something that would make me happy. But here's the thing...I believe opportunities are doorways to adventures. And while we have many adventures in our lives, we do not get the opportunity to open all of the doors and make our choices that way. I feel we need to eliminate as much of the "what ifs" as possible. So my conflict is that I have this opportunity in front of me with an adventure behind it but I am not able to chase it. I know that whatever happens does so for a reason but I also believe in following your heart. So I stay with my plan. And moved as originally discussed. I just hope that down the road I am not being chased by this really big what-if.
2 comments:
I'm excited to see where this move takes you (besides the actual place)! I just started reading your blog and love the way you have it set up. I look forward to reading yours frequently!
A quick comment on the what ifs. What ifs are a lot like other peoples opinions of you. After making a decision as long as you know it is the right one when you make it and you trust that it is, then don't worry about the what ifs. Act as if they don't exist because in a way they don't. And in many ways what ifs although they may seem important, they don't matter. If you think too much about the what ifs then you can miss out on the amazing things that happened because you chose the road you did. I had to learn not to care about some big what ifs that in some ways seem so important but looking where my life is now I wouldn't change a thing.
If your "what if" is a man, there are two choices. 1) Be at peace that you are making the right choice to leave and don't leave it as a 'what if' because it will haunt you, especially if you keep contact or 2)stay and pursue that what if and have subconscious blame to him for the rest of your life wondering your new 'what if'....what if you had moved and life would be that much better? grass is always greener and all that.
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